Find group activities where you can be with people who share your interests. Teens, however, are much more discriminating about friendships. Some children aren't even lonely when they're alone. Think of conversation openers, like introducing yourself "Hi, I'm Chris, we're in the same English class" , giving a compliment "That jacket looks great on you" , or asking a question "Do you know when our report is due? Worries and feelings like these can keep you from trying.
Build your confidence this way. Choosing someone and getting close may take some time. Here are some approaches that may help your shy child feel better about herself and function better at school: If your child is having trouble making friends and wouldn't mind some help, coach them on how to ask for and listen to other people's opinions. Most people find that the more they practice socializing, the easier it gets. Being quiet is not always the same as being shy. Why doesn't my child have any friends? Shy Strength Many people want to reduce their shyness. Being cosy with your parents is a good thing, but if your child wants to hang with Mom and Dad or their siblings all the time, they're not developing the interpersonal that they'll need to build friendships and even work relationships as an adult. If you have a naturally shy style, or if shyness holds you back, you might have to work at developing a sense of ease around new people. But sometimes shyness spirals into feelings of loneliness or failure. Further Resources For more information on shyness and other worrisome behavior in adolescents, contact: If your child is extremely shy or has been rebuffed by some not-so-nice children, she may get in the habit of declining friendships as an act of self-protection. If you can boost your child's confidence and help her have a few successes in the social arena, she'll forget about the audience and some of her shyness will likely disappear. A jolly child who was always surrounded by a dozen pals suddenly has no friends. Many children go through junior high and high school with just a small group of friends or happily pursuing solo activities such as music and art. Teens, however, are much more discriminating about friendships. During this phase, which typically is brief, your child may hide in her room, even when relatives or friends drop by. Even if they were outgoing, their confidence may falter. It's no wonder that people who shy away from socializing don't feel as socially confident as those who are outgoing — they have less practice! Going slow is OK. Some people welcome new experiences and new people. Not to worry -- they can be goofy together until their interests mature. If you can boost your child's confidence and help them have a few successes in the social arena, they'll forget about the audience and some of their shyness will likely disappear Most of the time, teenage shyness is a temporary phase and nothing to worry about. But it's worth the hard work.
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