Gwen said that money grows on trees? He is the type who may stalk his partner if she leaves him. So insistent was he that eventually, I had to wonder -- could he be right?
If she stays, we believe, she is partly responsible for the physical and emotional damage inflicted upon her, because she could have prevented it by getting the hell out of dodge and never looking back. The central attitudes driving Mr. Doubting the validity of your own thoughts and experiences is exhausting and terrifying, and it leaves you very, very vulnerable. The hot line is the beginning of the path to freedom. This is a word-for-word quotation from a number of my clients. Even when mental illness or addiction is a factor, it is not the cause of a man's abuse of his partner, but it can contribute to the severity of his problem and his resistance to change. His capacity for turning things into their opposites in this way is a central cause of his abusiveness. So now I've been labeled abusive. The Victim is highly self-centered in relationships. I can't tell her what I know, much as I wish I could, because of my responsibility to protect the confidentiality and safety of the former partner. What was she saying in the argument? If he is unhappy about anything, it is clearly your fault. Sensitive—He appears to be the diametric opposite of the Drill Sergeant. Now, you said that the money simply isn't there. Rumors start to come back to you that he's been seen with this woman, that he is sleeping with that one, that he is pursuing another one but she isn't interested yet. Everything seems to revolve around his wounds, and he keeps himself at the center of attention. He flirts with waitresses, clerks, or even friends of yours. If someone almost swerved into me in traffic and I felt that little blaze of anger, for example, I'd go into a mental tailspin, analyzing the situation, wondering if I had a right to be angry or if I'd perhaps just imagined the whole thing. Then over time his attention starts to wane towards you and starts to focus on other women, even your friends. When you've been made to believe you can't trust yourself, leaving an abusive situation becomes impossible. The Victim - this man is very self-centered and believes that everyone should feel sorry for all the things he has been through. They don't like the side effects, and they are too selfish to care about the implications of the mental illness for their partners or children. Soon, it seems if as if you're saying the wrong thing all the time, making him feel bad. Yet you sense that the dynamic is actually the other way around. Your abusive partner may be of a type I haven't encountered yet, but that doesn't make him any less real. Does Gwen agree that the last round of shopping was only a few weeks ago? He was coming with his new girlfriend, which eased Deanna's worries.
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