Friends and family may say it is too early and you are on the rebound. I sweep floors and cook dinners — all the while teetering precariously, looking over my shoulder and holding my breath. I know that you probably don't want to base your relationship on death and divorce, but you could include these central issues in your conversation. There is no time limit for grief, and because you re-marry or start a new relationship does not mean that you have forgotten your first love. But grief is not a competition.
Yet you, too, have something of substance to talk about—your divorce. Those social constructs have me torn for several reasons. The strange thing is, I would have never surrendered to this wave of grief without Tony drawing it out of me. What will people think when you fall in love while grieving? I salivate over his brothers and sister with an envy so palpable it makes me sweat. The quiet times are when I could hear the most from deep inside and find out who I was as an individual. If you are lucky enough to find someone who cares for you, then don't be afraid to build on that relationship. Nina made an offhand suggestion: The organ of unconditional giving and the organ responsible for us finding our soulmate. It is better for children too, as they will experience their parent being happier and feel part of a family again. All I think about is death, but I believe Damien will lift me up into a new life. I get asked a lot, as a remarried widow, how I found love again. I knowingly thought that I would save that part of my life for my friends and those who knew Dave and knew Dave and I together. Can this be real? Most of us wait for the other person to make a move. It is your life. And his answer was yes. He continued to help her after her husband died, and they married within the year. Waiting can be a passive, masochistic thing. In fact, it seems to shrink further and further away as disagreements, then arguments, then silences begin to pervade our house. Grief is not a competition. Being with him could be a chance to start again with a family still whole and untouched by grief. You will know when the time is right. The heart is a big wonderful thing — its the organ of love. Your experiences make you exquisite, and you should not discount the beauty you bring to this world. One of the great strengths of human beings is that they can do two things at once, without having to make sense of it all. No-one plans these things.
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